So, this year's nano is over, thank god. I did it, though I am not proud of myself. I don't even have scraps of notes - I just banged on the keyboard to reach the goal, which in retrospect was a mistake. Never again. This was my last NaNoWriMo. Obviously, maybe next year I will get back to this happy writing without regrets and with lots of enthusiasm, but judging by how my days go on, I doubt it. I really doubt that it will get any better in the next year. So yeah, it was my last NaNo, officially, and I won it, though I also lost it in a way.
Fortunately, I'm in a better frame of mind than two, three months ago, so there's a chance I will continue on writing. Maybe I will slow down and finally pay attention to what I'm doing. Maybe something will come out of it. Though now that I think about it, my depression lasts over a year now, so I'm not sure I can be that optimistic. Let's assume for now that I can and that I will write something decent, unlike the last twelve months. Let's hope, or I'm sliding down a hill.
I don't have much to say about the nano-text itself, because that's a barrel of shit and there's nothing to salvage. I rename it to SHIT and forget about it forever. On the plus side, I will never write anything so horrible intentionally. By accident, maybe. Because I'm just not good, probably. But not intentionally. Uh, the Zombie Foxes seem like a literary Nobel candidate in comparison...
Anyway. I am really grateful it's over and if I decide to take part in the event next year, please someone point me back to this post and ask me whether I really REALLY want to go through it again. Because seriously, the text is an abomination, I got more depressed because of going out to see people (sorry, that's a fact) than it made me any good, and in general - I didn't enjoy any of the aspects this year. Nothing. Apparently, the magic of nano is now lost on me. All good things must come to an end, apparently.